how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize