I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So much rum. So many feels.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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