I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
