when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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