That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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