I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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