Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
