True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He passed out mid-signature
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
