If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
