Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
