I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
