i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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