can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How naked do you want me to be?
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