when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
