I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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