my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize