i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
