6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
