there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
