The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
