I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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