Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
