Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
