Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
