Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
