Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I currently don't understand fingers.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
