I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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