Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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