so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
