she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
