I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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