I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
