she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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