is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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