i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
