I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
