Where is the hickey?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
