How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
