My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
