Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize