so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
