He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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