A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
