you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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