I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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