Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
