and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
