I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
