So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
