It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
