My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
