I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
