I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
