I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
