I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
