I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
