So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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