ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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