She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
