were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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