Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
