i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
