theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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