Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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