I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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