4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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