after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
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